


at least I'm sure of all the things we got

by shinealightonme



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pet Names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 17:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17964911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinealightonme/pseuds/shinealightonme
Summary: "You're in a pet name stalemate," Sargent says. "That's stupid even for a raven boy."





	at least I'm sure of all the things we got

**Author's Note:**

  * For [two_of_swords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/two_of_swords/gifts).



> hey two-of-swords, I bet you didn't think this could get stupider, GUESS WHAT IT GOT STUPIDER

It's eight goddamn minutes of his life that Ronan will never get back, listening to Gansey in the passenger seat argue with Sargent in the backseat about who was supposed to make plans with Parrish to do what when, before Gansey realizes: "Oh, my phone is dead."

"Is that like with pets," Ronan asks, "where after a while they start to look like their owners?"

"Ha," Gansey says, unamused. No -- dead serious. Ronan has to remember that one for later. "I'm going to call Adam from your phone."

He doesn't object. Someone might as well call Ronan's boyfriend from Ronan's phone; kind of weird for it to be Gansey, but whatever, conventionality is for straight people.

"You should really have a lock code on this," Gansey says.

"Locks are for shit that's important."

"Oh, Adam just texted you." Gansey peers at the phone. It's no fun having glasses if you wear them, apparently. "He says he doesn't need a ride as long as we can meet him at Nino's."

Ronan changes lanes and then flicks on his turn signal, in that order. "Text him back, okay, babe, we'll be at Nino's in ten minutes."

The BMW fills with a resounding silence.

Well, three different cars honk at him, but besides that it's quiet. Kind of peaceful, really.

"'Okay, Adam,'" Gansey reads as he types, "'we'll be -- '"

"No, I said _babe_ ," Ronan interrupts him. "You have to type babe, what kind of shitty secretary are you?"

"Psh, like you rich boys would last a day in admin." Sargent leans forward to hang off the back of Gansey's seat and stare at Ronan. "Why's it got to be babe?"

"That's a thing people say."

"Uh-huh. Since when are you _people_?"

Ronan taps his thumb on the steering wheel. He hates the fact that the light is red. He hates explaining himself. But he'll hate it more if Gansey sends a text that starts _hey, Adam_.

"I was being _sarcastic_ ," he says, "and then that smartass ran with it, and now we've been _babe_ for three weeks. I'm not going to be the one that uses a real name first."

"You're in a pet name stalemate," Sargent says. "That's stupid even for a raven boy." She leans forward and swipes the phone out of Gansey's hand.

"Hey!" Ronan grabs for the phone the same time that the light turns green. Sargent clearly thought that would distract him. Like he can't drive and wrestle with someone on the other side of the car at the same time.

"Ronan!" Gansey grabs the wheel and jerks them back into their lane. "I'd really like to make it to my twenties without dying a third time!"

"Then control your fucking girlfriend."

"Rude." Sargent smacks his hand away from the phone. "Aaaaaand, sent." She puts a little flourish on _ruining Ronan's fucking life_.

He slams the car into park on the side of the road.

"What the hell, Sargent, I don't get in the way of the stupid shit you do with your boyfriend -- "

"Actually -- " Gansey starts.

"Maybe _look_ at your phone before you say anything." Sargent chucks the phone at him.

He catches it, mostly to protect his face, and then looks down at the screen, where the last sent text ends with the word _babyyy_.

"Huh."

"Men only _think_ they know how to wage war," Sargent says. "You have to escalate or it's never going to end."

"I underestimated you, Sargent."

"Yes, you did."

"Sorry," Ronan says. "It won't happen again."

Gansey starts to complain, "you've caused structural damage to my real estate that you never apologized for," but the screen on Ronan's phone lights up and Sargent cuts him off with an eager "what's it say?"

They all crowd in to read, at the same time:

_can't wait to see you, kitten_

Ronan yelps and drops his phone. "What the fuck. That's _worse_ , why did you make it _worse_?"

"You thought you could get out of this unscathed?" Sargent asks.

Ronan throws the car back in gear. They make it to Nino's in five minutes, where they find Adam waiting in a booth with Cheng.

"Ooh," Sargent says, like something has just clicked into place for her.

"What?" Ronan grumbles, still sulking over _kitten_.

"He brought in _reinforcements_." She purses her lips and then nods, decisively. "This is going to be more work than I thought."

-

On Monday, Ronan is _dreamboat._

On Tuesday, Adam is _pumpkin._

On Wednesday, Ronan is _pooh bear_ , and he has his phone a foot deep in a trash can before Sargent berates him for cowardice.

On Thursday, Adam is _angel_ , which isn't their best work. Sargent's aunt interrupted their strategy session by repeatedly suggesting _butternut_ until Sargent looked even more distressed than Ronan.

On Friday, Gansey raises his concerns. "I'm concerned."

"After all the stupid shit I've done, this worries you?"

"I'm concerned about _you_." Gansey addresses this pointedly at Sargent. "Is there some reason you've turned Ronan's relationship into a proxy war with Cheng?"

"This isn't about Henry," Blue says. "It's not even about Ronan's relationship. It's about principles."

"What principle exactly are you defending with the words," Gansey casts a pained look down at Sargent's notes, "'honey bunny'?"

"Never surrender." Her voice is exactly as condescending as Gansey deserves if he couldn't figure that out for himself.

Though the window, Ronan watches as Adam's car pulls up to Monmouth. Adam gets out. Ronan decides all at once that it's time.

"I'm ending this," he says.

Sargent salutes him. "Godspeed, soldier," and the door is already shutting behind Ronan when Gansey blurts out "you're a _pacifist_."

He jogs down the stairs, reaching the bottom before Adam can start climbing.

Adam's face changes when he sees Ronan. It's not some big thing where he turns into a Disney prince or a fucking emoji with hearts in its eyeballs. It's just -- his smile starts to take shape, and his eyes get a little brighter, and a bit of the tiredness falls away from him. It's Ronan's favorite thing in the world.

And then he opens his stupid mouth to say something that's going to ruin it.

Ronan places a hand on the side of his face and pulls him in for a kiss, fast, before he can get any words out.

Adam switches gears instantly, kissing back, but Ronan is going to need more than that. He runs his hands down to Adam's sides, uses his hold on Adam's hips to push him up to the wall, where he presses his body against Adam's and kisses the life out of him.

When he's pretty sure Adam doesn't even remember what he was going to say, let alone have the breath to say it, Ronan ends the kiss with one hard bite of Adam's lip.

"Say _one word_ that isn't my name and I'm going right back inside."

He has to give Adam credit; he doesn't give in immediately. His eyes open and lock with Ronan's while he weighs his options.

Ronan slides one knee forward, just slightly, so his thigh is barely pressing against Adam.

He breathes in, sharp.

"Yes?" Ronan prompts him.

Adam hesitates.

He slides one hand up, until his fingers are just brushing over bare skin.

Adam caves.

"Ronan -- "

Ronan kisses him again, pushes his leg forward so Adam can grind against it.

"This is extortion," Adam says, like he isn't panting for it. Some people are so ungrateful.

"Love and war," Ronan says, and pulls Adam over to his car.

-

By the time Ronan bothers to throw half a glance at his phone, the newest message is Sargent's _we're not waiting on you guys for dinner_. Considering he's sprawled out on the bed at St. Agnes with Adam lying half-next to and half-on top of him, who gives a shit.

"I can't believe you used sex to win this stupid war," Adam says.

"Why not? That's the best way to win a war."

"Jesus Christ, I'm dating Mata Hari."

"War changes a man," Ronan says, ultra serious. Adam snorts. "We both committed atrocities."

"I had _some_ standards," Adam says. "Cheng told me to call you sugar lips."

Ronan retches. Adam laughs for real this time.

"Well, it's over now, anyway."

"Yeah." Ronan hadn't really considered it being over; he'd been too focused on winning. "You know. If you got _used_ to calling me babe, and you slipped up sometimes, I guess I could forgive that."

"Is that so." Adam looks up, his head still resting on Ronan's chest. There are a few strands of hair stuck to his forehead with sweat. Ronan wants to lick them. "I guess if you heard me say it and just accidentally said it back, I could forgive that."

"You'd have to, since it's your fault."

"God, why did I let you win," Adam complains.

Ronan places a thumb under Adam's chin and tilts his face up until he can kiss him, slow but deep.

Adam murmurs against his lips, "jackass," and Ronan figures that's a pet name he can live with.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this fic, you can [reblog it on tumblr!](http://toast-the-unknowing.tumblr.com/post/183149035280/at-least-im-sure-of-all-the-things-we-got)


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